


i wanna love you, i wanna love you

by dldld



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 06:17:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20326486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dldld/pseuds/dldld
Summary: In which I wanted to wax poetic about Adam Parrish in Kavinsky's POV and so we now have this.





	i wanna love you, i wanna love you

It would have been easier if Kavinsky didn't understand it. Didn't understand how someone like Ronan Lynch could like someone like Adam Parrish. He wishes that it didn't make sense because if it didn't make sense, he could believe he had a chance. Alas, he wasn't that lucky. Liking Adam Parrish was something inevitable. Like how caterpillars turned into butterflies. Knowing Adam Parrish meant liking him.

Ronan thinks he's subtle but anyone who would spend even just a little time looking at Ronan would realize that he's fucking smitten with Adam Parrish. Adam is the first person Ronan looks for in a crowd and if Adam is there, then Ronan is most likely there. Ronan's lips quirk into some semblance of a smile whenever Adam laughs. Kavinsky would know; he spends an inordinate amount of time looking at Ronan.

At first, it was both curiosity and jealousy that spurred Kavinsky to also look at Adam. Ronan stared at the guy so much, he wanted to know what Ronan sees in the other. And it didn't take long for Kavinsky to realize how deserving of all the stares Adam Parrish is.

The more important question is: how can anyone look away once they've seen Adam? His face was strangely and unconventionally beautiful, where you can't look away. It was like a kaleidoscope, where you see something new in every different angle, where you try and make sense of what you're seeing, all the while losing track of time staring and staring and staring.

Weeks passed and Kavinsky thought that he has finally understood what is it with Parrish's face that prevents someone from looking away. But he soon realized it wasn't just his face that made you stare. It was also his hands, his lean and lithe body, his hair, and that's just when he's in his Aglionby uniform. It's another challenge altogether when Adam is in his coveralls for his job, grease and oil staining his face, his neck, his hands.

The more Kavinsky looks at Adam, the more he notices everyone who does. From their teachers who look happy that someone works so hard in their subjects, from the other Aglionby boys who either want to be him or want to bone him although they don't know that yet, from the girls who see him biking down the road. Gansey might have the charm, Lynch the menace, and him the drugs, but it was Adam who Henrietta can't stop looking at.

***

Despite Kavinsky's neverending detention slips, he was a whiz in Chemistry. Which meant he shared AP Chem with Parrish and his bony and elegant hands. Kavinsky generally scared his partner into doing their experiments so he can stare at Adam's hands. Adam's hands swirling the flask, Adam's hands moving his hair away from his lab goggles, Adam's hands making redox reactions sexy. Other days he stares at Adam's back, hunched and curved, unconsciously making his tall stature look smaller. Other days he'd be fascinated with how the light from the windows casts him in an unholy glow, all cheekbones and dusty hair. He couldn't help it, Adam was more interesting than any chemical reaction they're trying to do and study.

***

Cruising around town one late night made him discover one of Adam's jobs. Adam was wearing a white shirt, damp with sweat, wearing only the bottom half of his coveralls while the sleeves were knotted by his waist. Kavinsky knew hot mechanics were a thing in porn, but it never occured to him that hot mechanics could exist outside of it. And here was Adam Parrish, working overtime on a car, dripping with proverbial sex, when in reality he's sure it was sweat, oil, grease, and gasoline. What Kavinsky would give to be able to smell Adam Parrish right now, probably lick his neck, run his hands all over his hair, and bring him home so he could rest. Adam turns off the light in the garage and that prompts Kavinsky to hightail it out of there, lest Adam spots his Evo lurking around Boyd's.

Driving past the speed limit gave Kavinsky a thrill, a rush of feeling alive, while simultaneously feeling like death is just a mistake or an oncoming truck away. And yet he feels the same right after he sees Adam, despite driving within the speed limit. He gets an idea.

***

Despite having the ability to just dream up a new car, he humored himself and brought his car for an oil change, both hoping for and against that Adam was in. Before he came around the garage from the front office, he heard a familiar voice in an unfamiliar accent. Unfamiliar because he hasn't heard it carried before by that voice. Following that strange but hypnotizing lilt, Kavinsky saw Adam, talking with someone else, a townie it seems, with the same accent he's suddenly accosted with. Adam doesn't notice him and even if he does, it's not like he'd pay him mind. They were not friends and if Gansey has brainwashed him these past months, he doubts Adam would even tolerate him.

Another mechanic is assigned to his car and he figures this is ultimately better, he's sure Adam would hate it if he's made to work on Kavinsky's car. Ronan drops by later and brings Adam food, which Adam doesn't touch but Ronan leaves anyway. Ronan spots Kavinsky at the lounge and smirks at him, and Ronan returns a glare.

***

Kavinsky races with Ronan that night. This was familiar, Kavinsky thought. He and Ronan were cut from the same cloth, violence and speed thrumming in their veins. He was starting to feel uncomfortable with how soft Parrish makes him. He and Ronan are really cut from the same cloth, they even turn soft and pliable and safe when it comes to Parrish.

Kavinsky craves for Ronan more these days. For destruction. For danger. For bad decisions. The more he sees Adam, the more he wants to burn things down, ruin and wreck everything that comes his way. Joseph Kavinsky wasn't made to love and be loved. Joseph Kavinsky wasn't made to wait and see and watch and pine. Joseph Kavinsky wasn't made to fall for a guy like Adam Parrish.

He crashes his car again.

***

Kavinsky wakes up in heaven. Heaven would be the only explanation why Adam Parrish is touching his cheeks, gently prodding him to wake up. But heaven would never accept Kavinsky and that's how he realizes he hasn't died yet.

"Kavinsky, are you okay?" Adam inquires.

Kavinsky, surprised and nervous and excited and jittery to be talking to Adam, unhelpfully replies, "Fuck off, Parrish."

"I wanted to call an ambulance but I didn't have a phone. Can you lend me your phone so I can call 911 and we can get back to our own lives'?"

Kavinsky could have kissed him right then and there if he could move his body. _Adam Parrish was an asshole?_

"Fuck the hospital. I'm fine. Just leave me, Princess. You might miss your curfew," Kavinsky snaps back and he hates himself for it.

"Suit yourself. Can you even move?"

"I'll be after a while," Kavinsky replies, as he slowly gains feeling in his body again. He slowly exits out of the car and he sees Adam on his bike, ready to bolt.

"Need a ride?" Adam asks. "I can drop you off in town," he adds.

"Nice wheels, Parrish," Kavinsky mocks him.

"I don't know why I'm even trying to help you. I'll just go," Adam moves to leave but Kavinsky reaches for his wrist. Adam flinches and moves his hand away, breath quickening.

Kavinsky hates how he can't even be nice to the boy he likes. And that's it. He finally admits to himself that he likes Adam.

"I'm sorry. Just, to Nino's? I could eat," Kavinsky replies, wishes it wasn't too late to try and be nice to Adam.

"Hop on," Adam gestures to his bike.

Kavinsky wishes he had the presence of mind to take everything in, commit every detail in his memory. Alas, he was too distracted with how Adam smelled. He smelled like sweat, oil, grease, and gasoline. He smelled like a dream. Adam leaves him there, he tells Proko to pick him up, and he gets home a little banged up but okay.

He dreams of sweat, oil, grease, and gasoline.  
He dreams of sex.  
In his dreams, they all coalesce together into a boy.  
He dreams of said boy.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what I'm doing. I haven't written anything in almost a year and I've been wanting to contribute to the TRC ficdom for so long and I ended up publishing this one first. Sorry not sorry because Adam/Kavinsky is such a guilty pleasure of mine.
> 
> Title from Vampire's Kiss by John Gold


End file.
